I’m sorry, I can’t…

Written by Jessica Wyszynski for Chronic Migraine Awareness

I am so tired of saying it. My family is so tired of hearing it. I have missed dinners, parties, family get-togethers, even just sitting together at night watching tv. I have ruined more than my share of events. My packing for anything includes making sure I have my migraine medication, and even with it packed I will still probably end up ruining it because of the side effects I get.

I am very lucky to have an understanding family – a daughter who brings me a blanket and stuffed animal and cuddles with me; a husband who brings me food if I need it or will go out and get me something. But I also wish everyday that my family didn’t have to be so understanding. I hate seeing the look on my daughter’s face when I tell her I can’t play a game with her because “mommy has a migraine.” I hate when my husband looks at me and can see the pain in my eyes even when I’m trying to hide it because I don’t want to ruin the baseball game for him.

I’ve said it to my parents too. I had to quit my job that I loved because of my migraines. I now work for my dad, and I have called him up to call off work because of a migraine more times than I can count. My mom has had to get my daughter off the bus for me because I had to take my medication and couldn’t get out of bed. A few years ago my mom came to my house, picked my daughter up, and drove her to daycare for me because I couldn’t after I had taken my medication.

My migraines don’t just affect me. They affect my husband, my daughter, my parents. They affect my daughter’s friends who want to play with her but can’t because I can’t take her over there. They affect my in-laws who expect me to show up to get-togethers and then are disappointed when I don’t.

Unfortunately migraines aren’t as understanding as people. I would love to be able to tell my migraine, “I’m sorry… I can’t.”

*Disclaimer – This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding migraine and headache disease and all medical conditions.

2 responses to “I’m sorry, I can’t…”

  1. My mom raised me before such many new prescriptions were available to help her fight the curse of migraine. She suffered greater than anyone I know because of it. She also suffered from the terrible side effects from the options she was given. It was so sad. As her daughter, I didn’t find disappointment in what my mom couldn’t do for me, instead I learned compassion, how to be strong even when suffering through things, how to find fulfilling things to do in the times I’m free of my own pain, and how to cry to & lean on God, my maker. Know that although you feel sadness for what you can’t do, your daughter is learning so many more important things in life that she couldn’t have learned without this most difficult trial of yours in your own life. The fact she cares for you when you hurt is an amazing gift that not all daughters find! To me, my mom is the bravest, strongest woman in the world because of her resilience! I am proud to be her daughter.


    1. Thank you for your words of encouragement for Jessica!


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