Written by Carla Joos for Chronic Migraine Awareness, Inc.

I would love to tell you about my better half, my partner, my husband of 40 years, the only man I have loved My caretaker Alan. 

                We have been together for fourty years and in that time I can honestly say I have cancelled on him at least 50% of the time. He never gets angry or frustrated. He will always say “Maybe I shouldn’t go I’m afraid to leave you home alone.”  He brings me my ice packs and even surprised me with a new ice bag one day, you would have thought he had brought me home a dozen red roses. That’s how excited I was for that ice bag! 

                  He knows just by talking to me on the phone or by looking at me that I have a migraine. Then he goes straight into What can I do to help?  He does the laundry, the cooking, vacuuming, dishes, sweeping and mopping. He helps get me into my bed and knows exactly how to arrange my feather pillows around my head then fills my ice pack and brings it to me. He knows to shut the blackout curtains, lower the thermostat, turn off all electronics and most importantly he knows to put my sweet WallE up on the bed with me because I need my four pound chihuahua snuggles really bad. 

                    The hardest part of living with Migraine Disease is for our entire married life we have only planned things based on the 50% rule. We can make the plans but there’s a 50% chance I will have to cancel due to a migraine. We also had a handicap son. Jordan was born at 27 weeks gestation weighing 2lbs. He lived to be six years old then we lost him from kidney disease, it was during this time in my life my migraines escalated to daily.  Two years later I was forced to quit work because I was missing too many days from acute migraine attacks. We went from a two income family to one income. Alan just supported me telling me I needed to concentrate on getting my health better. Then he got an extra job and yet another. He worked an entire year without a day off with those three jobs to pay medical bills for me and my son and put food on the table. 

                          It’s been several years since all of this but it’s an act of love shown to me from my sweet husband that I will never forget. My son passed and together we buried him, it was the hardest time of our lives. Until I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This time he held me up. And yes during all of this I was struggling with Migraine Disease. 

                            I honestly don’t think I would be the strong person I am today without my husband who has been by my side as my caregiver helping me to face all this together. My migraines and medication are now causing memory loss and I am discovering I need Alan so much more than I ever have before. I’m scared but I am blessed I am thankful one shoe salesman at the mall took the chance on his competition and went to check out the shoe salesgirl and if she was single. 40 years later I truly am one lucky girl. 

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